


What Happens in New Vegas....

by TheUntitledWritingProject



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Alcohol, Hangover, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, We just had fun with this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27862969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUntitledWritingProject/pseuds/TheUntitledWritingProject
Summary: A rather fun night leads to Courier Six waking up with someone he doesn't actually remember the name of and a missing doctor they would both like to get back...
Relationships: Arcade Gannon/Original Character, Male Courier/Arcade Gannon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	What Happens in New Vegas....

**Author's Note:**

> River and Miranda are the incredible OCs of Mitsybubbles! Please check them out on AO3 and tumblr!!

Everything….just...hurts….

The slow return to consciousness felt a lot less like drifting from dream to reality and a lot more like impaling his previously dizzy head on an old railway spike and proclaiming himself a unicorn. The sickening turn of his stomach apparently had not gotten the memo that the dance floor closed at midnight and attempted a rather impressive spin with his liver. His spleen seemed rather eager to join in as well, were it not for the elbow currently sticking in it that he really, really hoped was not his own. God he hated Mondays.

The apparently mindreading owner of said elbow seemed to echo his sentiment, groaning pitifully into his neck as he shuffled closer, taking the role of Ares impromptu blanket perhaps a bit too seriously, the mattress that was definitely not his own creaking a bit under their combined weight. Something fuzzy and probably soft tickled under his nose, the hand currently under his shoulder blade grabbing what he really hoped was not his hair. The headache his head was currently brandishing like a long-forgotten crown really did not appreciate the gesture, another wave of throbbing pain shooting through his brain like an untrained rocketeer.

“You two gonna hang out here all day?”

Huston…we have a problem. His blanket startled at the rather squeaky voice Ares knew for a fact was not one of his usual companions, unless Veronica had managed to break into a party store. The war between his headache and the possibly tiny threat before them raged for a total of five seconds before he managed to wrestle his eyes open, blinking at the rather rude light filtering in immediately. Ares screwed them shut again, contemplating either worsening his headache or getting attacked by whoever stood before them. His cuddly friend seemed to have no such dilemma, soft hair once again brushing his nose as a head was raised off his chest.

“Oh….mornin Mira” his friend mumbled sleepily, dropping back on him with enough force to effectively break up the salsa performance going on in his stomach. Ares scrunched his face up, the name sounding somewhat familiar to his otherwise stunned brain. Whatever figment of imagination was currently in charge of filing his memories in nice, neat little cabinets seemed to have taken the day off, however. Try as he might, he could find nothing more than a really blank page and a half association with…. Arcade!

He opened his eyes at that, blinking around the uninvited daylight to focus on an unimpressed child staring at him and the person on his chest who was definitely not the good doctor. Well, at least one member of their party was accounted for. The lack of stark blond hair and a rather pissed off lecture meant they had somehow managed to arrive wherever the hell here was minus one rather important member of their little gang. Or rather, several important members. His favorite heavyweight and the sniper he’d somehow managed to convince to come down to the bar with them were also out for the count. Unless they had all turned into plants. Which was slightly more believable after their excursion to that vault a month ago but he’d yet to find a plant person who was content to serve as a table cactus so it was far more unlikely. Although, Boone was about as prickly as a cactus…

The child, Mira, blinked at him, taking another bite from her apple with about as much excitement as her adopted father in a robot factory. Arcade had mentioned her, several times, though Ares wasn’t exactly thrilled to meet her while his liver was attempting to save what little blood he had left from alcohol poisoning and his brain was screaming at it for trying. Let alone without the presence of said doctor whose bed he currently seemed to be occupying. With their friend who Ares only knew from the night before. Classic, really. A plus effort all around. 

“I take it you’re Miranda” he questioned tiredly, attempting to roll River in some direction other than his spleen. The hand in his hair seemed to hate this plan though, as it tightened considerably at the motion. Brilliant.

“No. I’m President Kimball in all of his unholy glory.” she said, facial expression not changing.

Yep...this was definitely Arcade’s daughter. “Well your presidentialness, would you happen to know where the royal physician is?” he snapped back, reaching behind him to attempt a rather delicate River removal. “Or at least a glass of water?” 

Miranda raised an eyebrow at the pair, thinking for a moment. She finally said “Haven’t seen Arcade around here.” with a slight smile as she walked over to a battered blue cooler. She reached into it and pulled out a bottle of water before lightly tossing it towards Ares.

Ares reached up, his hand reacting possibly a little slower than his brain anticipated, resulting in both it and the bottle smacking slightly against the fortunately whole side of his face. The human-constrictor currently curled against his chest chuckled at the sight, finally releasing him in favor of grabbing their own forehead and swearing silently. Ares sighed, unscrewing the bottle after a rather pathetic number of attempts, drinking deeply before offering it to his accomplice. “And here would be…?”

She made a face at Ares as if the information was obvious. “You’re in Arcade’s tent, dingus. It’s simple. I came back here to look for him and instead I got you two, snoring away in the middle of the day. Why are you guys even here? I thought you have your own fancy hotel to sleep in.” She glanced towards his octopus friend. “And he has a hay bale in a brahmin stall or whatever.”

“Great questions, tiny deathclaw” Ares huffed, ignoring the rather indignant murmurs about owning a bed coming from beside him. “I imagine it has something to do with the doctor who owns this tent and the fact he’s not here” 

Miranda scoffed. “Probably has to do something with how you lost him on your fancy hot date with him.” His new friend’s head perked up slightly. He raised an eyebrow at her quizzically. 

“One, I did not lose him. To lose something means to own something and he’s a grown man.” he sighed. And two,” he paused, blinking a few times before pointing at his current cuddle buddy, “who is this?”

She glanced at them and shrugged. “Oh. River’s one of Arcade’s friends. They met at the Wrangler or something.”

River sighed. “Miranda, I can introduce myself to Ares.” He turned over to Ares and smiled. “Hi. I’m River....nice...bed we’re sharing here.”

“Yeah...really nice….did you know your hair is really fluffy? Really cute, ten out of ten. It tickles a little though so if we could maybe get up and get moving….”

River touched his hair, combing his fingers through his curls. “Oh! It is fluffy....” He sat up and continued to mess with his hair, seemingly zoning out.

Ares raised an eyebrow at that, watching the look of almost joy on the rancher's face at the recent discovery of his own hair. Either they were still extremely drunk or just easy to please. Either way, at least one person in this tent seemed happy. He could work with that. He turned back to the small unit of unbridled sass staring at him. “Right...Miranda, would you happen to know where Arcade would be if not in his tent?”

Miranda took another bite out of her apple, chewing while she thought. She swallowed and put a finger to her chin. “Uh…probably in town? He said that he had to do a bunch of errands yesterday but then he sort of forgot about them for the rest of the day. He’s probably doing that if he isn’t passed out in the street or in your home or something.”

“Well...aren’t we a wealth of information” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. Damn his spine was killing him, along with the whatever drum was still going on in his head.

She rolled her eyes. “Maybe I just want you to leave the tent so I can read in peace.” She pointed to the top bunk, where a couple of books were haphazardly strone about.

Right, Arcade’s kid. He sighed, tapping River on the shoulder that was not currently occupied with keeping its hand raised to his hair. “Come on cowboy, let's leave tiny Plato with her work and see if we can't find the grand physician before someone less merciful does, like a Fiend...or Boone”

Miranda started to climb up the ladder to her bunk while grumbling under her breath that Plato was a nerd. River blinked out of his thoughts and nodded. He slowly climbed out of the bed and stretched lazily.

Ares shook his head, following him up with as much grace as a newborn brahmin and with half the enthusiasm. “Does the young philosopher have an idea what his errands were?” he called out to the top bunk, stumbling towards the door and the sunlight he really didn’t care to face today. Where were Boone’s sunglasses when he needed them?

She blew a raspberry at Ares. “He has a spare list of them on his table.” Miranda pointed to a desk piled with papers and equipment for researching plants. She turned back to her book and started to read it.

“Thank you your Presidentialness” he murmured, snatching the list from the desk, frowning down at the scribbling that he supposed were probably intelligible words in another life. “Can he actually read this?” he questioned, holding the list up for River. “It looks like he made a few loops and called it a day”

River scrunched his eyebrows at the scrawl and shrugged. “Sometimes the Doc’ also writes his sentences all abbreviated weird.” He took the paper from Ares and held it far away from his face, trying to decipher it. “I remember he mentioned Julie wanting to buy him a typewriter but…” his voice trailed off as he tried to focus on the words. “I think...I think...he has to get some soda and lightbulbs? Or something along those lines.” He turned to Ares and shrugged. “I’d try Mick and Ralph’s?”

Ares stared at him, blinking rapidly for several seconds. Great detective work. Prewar police level. Perfect effort all around. Call off the dogs. Case solved. “Mick and Ralph’s...the morning after whatever the hell happened last night and the first place he would go is Mick and Ralphs…”

River frowned at Ares for a moment before handing him the paper back. He muttered “M’ just trying to help...” under his breath and pursed his lips. He walked to the entrance of the tent and put his hands in his pockets, tilting his head. “Do you have any better ideas then?”

Ares sighed, folding the paper up. He knew very well he wasn’t exactly a ray of sunshine in the mornings, or er, late afternoon depending on whatever time the alcohol-fueled dreamgate decided to release him back into the waking world. “Sorry Cowboy...” he murmured sheepishly, tapping him on the shoulder gently. “And not many, but seeing as the Scholar here mentioned my place odds are we started at the Tops last night”

Miranda tossed a book at Ares’s head, the rather thick novel clattering uselessly to the floor before it reached him. “Stop calling me that!” 

River glanced between the two of them with wide eyes before nodding. “Alrighty Courier,” He opened the tent flap and gestured to Ares. “After you.”

“Thanks” he replied, sparing one last glance at the rather rude child and her now abandoned book on the floor. “Good luck with your studies, tiny demon” he called out, ducking out the tent before she could find any more potential projectiles. The whole situation was just...peachy.

____________________________________________________________________________

The walk to the Tops wasn’t exactly the worst walk of shame he’d ever attempted. That trophy went to an oh so special night limping back from the outskirts after a particularly brutal Fiend attack and a mishap with a deathclaw. Last time he ever asked for directions from Ralph, ever. Not that the company wasn’t great, mind you. River casually strode ahead of him, occasionally rubbing his temples in an attempt to combat his migraine. They’d somehow managed to make it past the securitrons specifically designed to keep out the hooligans they most definitely looked like before he turned back to Ares and asked “So…Courier, how is it like being y’know, The Courier?” His expression seemed simply curious, not that the question wasn’t an innocent one in any regard. Or one he didn’t get asked often. Usually by people after he’d managed to do something that should have been ridiculously easy for them in one way or another. River wasn’t exactly holding onto his well earned caps to force a conversation though. He doubted the rancher had it in him. Less than an hour since Ares could reasonably recall his name and he could already tell the other didn’t have a malicious bone in their body.

“Besides getting shot, getting shot at, or getting expected to be shot at?” he started, right hand “raising on its own accord to swipe at the triple scars running down his cheek, “Doubt it’s much different from anyone else’s life. For the most part I get things done and try not to die in the process”. If he could just remember whatever the hell he was doing six months ago, life would be great. Really. “What about you? Arcade’s mentioned you a few times. You work with brahmin, right?”

River broke out into a grin. “Yup! I work for the Crimson Caravan, someone has to take care of all of the animals there y’know?”

“So you’re a caravan hand?” Ares raised an eyebrow at that, looking him over. River didn’t exactly seem like the type to carry a heavily loaded rifle and shoot at ‘completely innocent and definitely not pickpocketing’ couriers who just wanted a snack cake. 

“You could say that I guess,” River put a hand to his chin, “I just make sure the brahmin are healthy and cared for so they can travel and carry their loads safely.” He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “It’s not much in the way of glory or caps, I just like the animals.”

“Glory is for people who don’t know how to be happy” Ares shrugged, “I’d much rather be running packages than this whole mess.”

River nodded. “It does seem like quite a lot for one person. Things are getting pretty messy here.” They sighed and furrowed their brows. “If it wasn’t too dangerous for my caravan to leave, I probably would have left the Mojave by now. But it is what it is.”

“In that case, I’m happy the Mojave kept you around for a little while.” Ares smiled, bumping against the other gently, “it's not often you meet someone whose halfway decent and has that soft of hair” 

River snorted. “Thanks.” He chuckled to himself and said “I guess if this war did anything good, it was introducing you to my hair.”

“And for that, I will be eternally thankful. The one night affair I had with your hair will forever live on in my subconscious. You have spoiled me for other hairstyles. What will the neighbors think?” He laughed, pulling open the door to the Tops, half expecting Swank to shoot him in the head on sight. Constant vigilance around that man. Constant vigilance. 

Imminent death did not await them at the door, however, and seeing he was still alive after three seconds he motioned River forward, closing the door behind them. River glanced around the casino before turning to Ares. “Any idea on where he’d be?”

Ares scanned the room quickly, looking for any signs of a faded white coat or a very angry doorman, whichever he found first. The immediate casino seemed home to its normal residents though, the woman he’s pretty sure had been sitting at the same slot machine currently drooling on it like the chest of a rather patient lover. “Well” he started, heading off towards the main lobby, “He was never one for gambling himself so I imagine he’d be somewhere near one of our preferred poisons. Unless you also don’t gamble and the two of you watched me lose at blackjack all night”

River scrunched his face in confusion, “Why would he want to poison himself?”

“Just an expression Cowboy” he chuckled, ruffling his hair gently. “I meant, what particular part of this inglorious establishment are you prone to? Cards? Slots? The little one where the ball goes round and round and I can never remember the name?”

“...Sometimes I like to dismantle slot machines and hack into them?”

Ares blinked at the other, trying to imagine the rather honest-seeming animal lover attempting to rob a casino with a screwdriver. “A hobby of yours?” he questioned lightly.

River smiled and shrugged. “You could say that!” He skipped off in the direction of the blackjack tables, humming to himself, the courier staring at his retreating form for several seconds before following behind.

The crowd around the blackjack table was surprisingly sparse for whatever time it happened to be. River glanced around before leaning onto the table. “Do you think it’s a Sunday?” 

“Probably should have asked the tiny professor” he shrugged, taking a seat more out of habit than any real desire to play. His pockets didn’t exactly feel loaded with caps at the moment. Come to think of it, where was his bag? Hopefully with the missing doctor and the rest of his pride. He motioned for the dealer, surprised at the look of sheer terror he got. Well, apparently they had been here for some part of the night. Or his reputation was seriously getting worse. Could be either. “Excuse me. You wouldn’t happen to have seen us here last night would you? Maybe with another man about my age. Or our age.” He questioned, pointing between himself and River. “Probably upset looking. May or may not have been drunk”

“He also has light hair and glasses!” River chimed in.

Right, physical descriptions would probably get them a lot further. Great call cowboy. The dealer didn’t seem to care though, reaching for a little red button Ares knew was hidden off to the side of the table. “No need for that” he snapped just a little too late, groaning at the familiar figure approaching them. Well, this was going to be fun. 

“I thought I told you to leave,” Swank drawled, crossing his arms as he looked them over. “You all caused quite enough damage already.”

“Hotel’s still standing, big guy, and I live here” Ares huffed, staring down the guard tiredly. 

The rather unperturbed guard looked about as amused as a radscorpion playing hide and seek with a gecko, provided the gecko accidently set the radsorpion’s house on fire. “And you can continue living here after you pay for damages” he replied curtly, gesturing to the lobby that looked only slightly more worn down than usual. True, half the bar was now a permanent fixture of the floor but that was probably not their fault. Probably.

Ares raised an eyebrow at that, sending the rightfully-pissed man a look that very clearly defined just how little he cared at the moment, lessened somewhat by the rather sheepish cowboy standing beside him, attempting to look anywhere else but Swank’s angry eyes. “Look,” the courier started, silently praying it wasn’t actually possible to visibly burn a hole in someone’s forehead”, “we are just trying to find the guy with us last night.”

“You mean the one the securitrons arrested for punching an NCR officer?”

That…didn’t sound right. Arcade was many things. Unnecessarily violent, and or any type of violent really, was not one of them. Ares stole a glance at his companion, unsurprised to find him equally surprised at the suggestion, the freckles dotting his nose scrunched cutely at the suggestions. Wait, what?

The unwelcome thought was quickly dissipated by a rather large sigh from their rather large bouncer. “Look airhead. We kicked the whole lot of you out after that incident. Where you went from there is your business. Now I don’t want to see you again till I get my caps.” He spat, the unspoken swear hissing through his teeth. Service with a smile, folks. 

Ares simply shrugged, “I hope you know I’m not tipping you for this lousy service”

To his credit, Swank managed to turn a mirage of colors that would put an actual gecko to shame, the perfect sequence of a sunset somehow managing to cross his features as he fumed like a teapot whistling before it finally exploded, “OUT NOW!”

Well now he had done it, hadn’t he? The last brain cell Ares was certain Benny had left him with was in the process of deciding between apologizing or pressing further when River’s common sense decided to kick into gear, surprisingly strong hands for a person that barely came up to Ares’ chin grabbing his arm and all but dragging him towards the door. “Ok we’ll go- goodbye.” They stuttered out, smiling warmly over the shoulder of the apparently socially inept courier whose brain cell had settled on ‘go big or go home’. 

Said braincell took control of his mouth before any form of his own common sense could raise its level head. “My room better still be there when I get back or I’m selling you all out to House.” He shouted, the surprisingly still whole ashtray from the table shattering gleefully next to his head before falling like sharp little snowflakes into the musty carpet.

“GO SOBER UP YOU IDIOT” Ahh, sweet validation.

River all but pushed him outside, shooting the hotel and it's now startled guests one last smile. “I’m sure he doesn’t mean it!” They called out before slamming the door with a resounding thud behind them. An appropriate exit by all accounts. 

The calvary seemed more than content to let them go, though the harsh daylight seemed to threaten them both with returning headaches and the ever-present reminder of why the hell they were down one doctor to begin with. Ares sighed, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, “ Don’t worry, he’s only blowing steam out his ass.” He explained with less certainty than he normally threw around. He did actually need that apartment. And the rather helpful robot still locked in what he supposed used to be a second bedroom. 

River blinked at him, offering him a smile that only mirrored his own pathetic excuse at confidence, If you say so… “ they started running their fingers through that rather soft hair as they scratched at their scalp, “So Doc’ went and got arrested?”

The million dollar question, really.

“I guess” Ares started, “Arcade doesn’t exactly seem like an angry drunk to me though. Thought he’d be more cuddly.”

“Maybe that officer said something to him?”

Possibly, but still. “Something bad enough for Arcade to punch someone? The guy who nearly cried over a dead cactus last week?”

Ahh, the cute little nose scrunch again. River nodded briefly, face falling in worry. “He really doesn’t like the NCR military…” They explained, shrugging slightly.

Ares shook his head. “True” he conceded, “just would have expected a verbal lashing over overt violence. Guess we go talk to the securitrons.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The walk to the holding facility was roughly the same no matter which little slice of hell and despair one seemed to be starting at, the small section of the Strip the securitrons normally dragged the various citizens in various states of inebriation could barely be classified as a jail and more of a nearly human-sized shoebox. Paired with the overt stench of vomit and regret, it was perhaps the most pleasant place on the Strip, given one hated everything about themselves, life, and the universe in general.

Ares, unfortunately, was not one of those people, despite the day’s events. The long walk wasn’t exactly unpleasant given the rather sunny smile underneath those blasted curls of the person walking next to him. River, it seemed, wasn’t one to talk much. Or, rather, he seemed content with silence as long as it was peaceful. Still, there were some pressing matters to discuss, such as how Ares had managed to find himself in the bed of the man he was trying to convince he was somewhat worth dating with the person said man had brought along on what Ares was certain he had projected as a date and not a New Vegas-wide get-together.. “So” he began, staring up at the sky which seemed intent on matching his new friend’s disposition, “exactly how much do you remember from last night?”

River’s seemingly endless smile fell only a bit in thought, lips forming a nearly perfect ‘o’ as they attempted to read some invisible prompt in front of their nose. “Uhhh… so I arrived with Arcade, I met you, some soldier dude, and Cassidy, everyone went to the bar for a little bit, and I tried some of someone’s drink and I think that’s about it.” They shrugged, the sunlight in their step returning at full force, “The rest is a blur.”

“I’m gonna assume the soldier dude was Boone. Made him come along when Arcade said you’d be joining. Not sure why Cass was there though. We probably stumbled into her on the way down.”

River shrugged, “well the more the merrier I guess…” Their eyes widened suddenly, copper lashes blinking rapidly as their head swiveled towards him, “..wait you brought along Boone cause what?”

Right. Arcade’s friend. Arcade’s friend that he brought along. To what was supposed to be a date. Something sharp and decidedly unpleasant poked around in his chest at the thought, “Hmm?” He hummed, trying to ignore the sting and the rapid blurring of his vision that was most definitely from the unwelcome Mojave sun. “I didn’t say anything”

River raised an eyebrow at that, staring him down out of the corner of their vision. “Oh…ok.” They murmured, some measure of rain sneaking into the small voice.

The walk was significantly less sunny after that, thought the shoebox of a jail really was a sight to behold. The securitron at the front was an odd sort of fellow who had the same face as most of its brothers and yet somehow different. Like its hat was tilted four degrees to the left or its frown was perhaps just a little past intimidating and reaching into the murderous phase of frowning. The perfect mechanical guard for the tiny hole they tended to throw the rabblerousers of the masses that were either too drunk or too stupid to let walk around with the rest of the rabblerousing crowd. Ares really hoped they’d grouped Boone in the former of the two. He really didn’t want a broken nose today, the last one was finally starting to heal. The murderous frown only deepened as they approached, despite the quiet nature of his new friend and his own rugged good looks. Really, robots today.

“State your business” it announced rather harshly, no form of please even noticeable in its tone. Then again, it was locked in a room only barely big enough to house itself and one reasonably unused “I heart Vegas” mug that brought about so many questions Ares doubted he would live through asking. 

“I believe you have one of our friends in lock up” He started, trying his best not to stare at the entirely unnecessary coffee mug. “Or is it lock down?”

“Lock in?” River provided helpfully, smiling brightly at the unamused guard. 

“Name?” it clipped, its virtual hat falling a bit more to its virtual left.

“Craig Boone. At least, that's what it was before last night. He could be a Jason now for all I know”

The guard whirled for a few noisy seconds, its thoughts literally rattling away in its top-heavy metal head, before responding “Boone, C. Held for disorderly conduct, assault, and public intoxication. Determined status, twenty-four hour observation.”

“Okay…What time did that start?”

“2:32 AM”

Well, wasn’t that just peachy? Ares sighed, “Brilliant…”

“...Any chance we could talk to him, perhaps?” River inquired, smiling innocently at the guard.

The securitron seemed less than moved by their plight, however, slamming a stack of papers down with enough force to smash a radroach if one got between it and the desk. “Visitors are allowed 20 minutes.” It whirled, the metal gate beside it creaking open automatically.

“Close enough” Ares murmured, resisting the urge to knock the ridiculous mug over on their way through.

Boone seemed….rather unimpressed by his surroundings, the ex-NCR sniper surprisingly calm in the tin can they tried to pass off as a cell. He leaned up against the wall, smoking a cigarette he had smuggled past the somewhat lax security at the door. He nodded to them as they entered, though continued to hold up his little section of wall that, admittedly, looked like it might crumble without him. “What do you want?” he questioned lazily, taking another drag from the roll between his teeth.

Ares smiled at that, glaring fondly at the grouch that stole whatever holiday they were closest to. Arbor day, probably. “In general or this particular case?”

If he had been expecting a chuckle, he would have been sorely disappointed. Boone was a man of many talents, that much Ares knew. And one of those particular talents was a rather spot-on impersonation of a chain-smoking statute. Or a piece of pepper stuck in a dinosaur’s mouth, depending on where he was attempting it. The sniper said, unsurprisingly nothing, though Ares was sure he saw his eyes roll behind those thick sunglasses.

“Alright” he surrendered, ticking off the questions on his fingers as he spoke, “What happened last night? How much do you remember? Why are you in jail? And where’s Arcade and Cass?”

Boone just inhaled silently, another puff of smoke rolling through the air a beat later. “Not surprised you don’t remember, considering the bottle you downed as soon as your friend here walked through the door with the doc. Long story short, I punched a ex-teammate who didn’t know how to keep his mouth shut and a brawl broke out. I got dragged in here and you four headed to the Wrangler to get the bail money. Seeing how that played out exactly like you planned, I’m assuming Cass and Arcade are either missing or dead”

“Hopefully not the latter” Ares responded dryly, face falling at the unnecessary reminder of how pathetically his night began and the nearly visible question mark that had popped up over River’s head. He definitely did not need this right now. “Though I guess our next stop will be the Wrangler. Kind of a downgrade from the Tops but the winnings are better. Or at least easier to come by. Thanks Boone” He nodded, pulling a cigarette from his jacket and flicking it towards his friend. Boone caught it with ease, tucking it underneath the arm of his sunglasses for later.

“Shouldn’t we bail him out?” River questioned as the courier turned, heading back towards Copper McCoffeemug. Ares peered back at them over his shoulder.

“How much is your bail?”

“Two thousand caps”

“See ya tomorrow Boone!” he called, heading out the door. Boone shook his head, nodding at the cowboy.

“Don’t worry, its payback”

River scrunched his eyebrows. “….From what?”

“You don’t want to know” And with that, he headed further into his far-too-tiny cell, leaving River blinking in confusion. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ares was halfway to the house of beer and shame when River caught up with him just outside Mick and Ralph’s. To be fair, he hadn’t exactly meant to leave the other behind. As good of a friend as Boone was, the man had caused Ares his own fair share of problems, embarrassing episodes, unnecessary day trips, and a lost night with someone he had actually been into at the time. Poor Manny. Cowboy tapped him lightly on the shoulder as they caught up, expression adorably confused as they cocked their head back towards the jail questioningly.

“Did he tell you why?” Ares questioned, stride barely faltering.

“He said payback?”

Ares nodded, “Yep” he drawled, popping the word like an old stick of chewing gum. River’s frown only deepened, their feet dragging and they moved further and further from the quaint little jailhouse.

“For what? They questioned.

“Nothin worth mentioning. Besides, do you have two thousand caps?” The much bigger problem besides his twice bruised ego and a couple missed dates, really. Especially for a twenty-four-hour sentence. Besides, Dinky the beloved Rex’s teeth kinda looked like bars if you squinted, turned your head to the side, and attempted to cross your eyes while singing the alphabet song. Boone should feel right at home, really.

River shook his head lightly, casting one final frown at the shoebox before turning to eye Ares admittedly hunched shoulders. “Soo…” He started, rubbing the back of his neck, “You and Arcade?”

Huh, apparently words could hurt you. Take that useless nursery rhyme! Ares sighed, eyes rolling rather dramatically before settling on that admittedly cute nose. “Apparently not” he bit cordially, blinking innocently and just a bit hatefully at the other. He couldn’t blame them, really. Docs who actually gave a damn, smiled like a dork at the most unexpected moments, knew their way around the latin language, and would verbally annihilate a legionnaire to their face were hard to come by in the wasteland. Add in the fact Arcade was a legitimately good man with a wicked sense of humor, well it had always struck Ares as odd the man proclaimed himself to be a bachelor. Guess that status had changed while he wasn’t looking. A feat within itself, really.

The cowboy, to their credit, merely nodded before finding sudden interest in their rather wornout boots, lips pulling into a decidedly unfair frown. The small warlord drumming away in Ares chest went silent at the sight, regret instantly stinging in its place.

“Look River” He started, smiling halfheartedly, “I’m glad he brought you along.”

Wide eyes blinked at him for that, a small voice coming from the admittedly short ranch-hand. “Really?”

“Very” Ares nodded enthusiastically, winking at them “You make a nice blanket. Very comfy.”

River laughed at that. Hearty and relieved, pulling the tension from both their shoulders as those freckled cheeks turned a delightful shade of strawberry and Ares swore something fluttered beneath his ribs that had nothing to do with jealousy. Damn…just damn…

River shook their head, chuckling softly to themself as they reached the Wrangler, which was thankfully unguarded at the moment. Ares had no doubt if they had managed to raise the ire and awe-inspiring fury of one Swank at the very beginning of the night, they had probably managed to invoke a similar reaction at a possibly grander scale in the reasonably less respectable establishment that was the Atomic Wrangler.

The inside looked…mostly intact, the cleanup crew that handled mornings much more accustomed to wild New Vegas nights than the actual hotels on the strip. One slot machine was still precariously perched on its side, its backing torn away and wires crisscrossing haphazardly as they jutted out like guts from an old zombie holotape. Ares felt River stiffen slightly beside him, the cowboy taking cover behind his considerably larger frame as their local casino-owning robot-lover paced blissfully behind the counter.

Ares peered over his shoulder, eyeing his friend with a wiry smile. “River, didn’t the hell-child mention you and Arcade met at the Wrangler”

How a face could look that innocent and that so blasted smug at one time, he would never know. River flashed him a smile that confirmed each and every one of his assumptions, hands pressing tightly against Ares’ back as they shuffled somewhat sideways and in no way suspiciously further into the casino. A few customers looked up from their drinks to watch them, though the absence of one familiar voice and a pair of black-rimmed glasses left them sorely disappointed. Ares had half a mind to turn around and request a search party from Julie for a missing medical man when a flash of red caught his eye.

Cass was….cleaning? He blinked, trying to line up the image of a definitely Cass-like woman doing a very non-Cass activity. Pretty sure the last thing he saw her clean was when she swept all of his chips in her direction after wiping the floor with him on poker-night. But there she was, rubbing a very dirty towel across a very dirty bar next to a relatively dirty looking man sending her extremely dirty looks. Not that Ares could blame him, considering every time he turned his back she somehow managed to take another swig from a random bottle. Which was a decidedly more Cass-like activity.

“I see we found a new avenue for free alcohol” Ares crooned at her as they drew close, River darting out from behind him towards the upturned slot machine Ares had an eerie feeling he had been responsible for. Cass winked at him, throwing her rag in his face as she did so.

“Only because you idiots now owe these idiots a new slot machine.” She drawled, leaning against the bar as she passed him a bottle he was certain they couldn’t afford, “bout time you dragged your ass back here. Thought you would have come hours ago.”

“And deprive you of the chance to miss me?”

“I could use some more if you are feeling charitable” She suggested, flashing him a smile too friendly to be as sharp as she meant.

“I’m not, unfortunately” he shrugged, “Though I am highly interested in your new hobby”.

“Wouldn’t have picked it up if you idiots hadn’t tried to rob these idiots and ended up getting caught. I’ve been washing dishes since four this morning”

“They let you do that drunk?”

“Would you trust me to do it sober”

Ares snorted, slipping the bottle into his coat with a wink. Least he could do, given the circumstances. “Glad we found you Cass” he murmured sincerely, “You wouldn’t happen to know where the good Doc went though, would ya?”

“He was with you last night” she shrugged, shooting a glance over towards River. The Cowboy was good with their hands, Ares gave them that much, a small chunk of change now littered the floor in front of the out of order slot machine, growing rather loudly by the minute. “Though I take it since the two of you are here and he is not someone ended up with the wrong bed partner?”

“Innocently, but yes” he conceded, eyes flickering over to the guard who was speaking not-so-covertly into his jacket.

“I would check the fort. He had yelled for you to rally there after they caught him counting cards”

“We already looked there, but I’m out of options..” he started, cursing as a rather pissy suit started heading towards a rather cornered hacker. “And it looks like we are out of time”

A hand grabbed him by the collar at the same time what looked to be Fisto managed to wrench River’s arm behind their back. “Always a pleasure Cassidy” he nodded as he was pushed forward, watching her shake her head as the two were quite literally ejected from the premises.

River hit the ground with a thud and no small amount of glee, the cowboy still smiling smugly as James Garret himself flipped a rather unnecessary bird at him. They were moving up in the world, apparently.

“So…did she know where he is?”

“Well, he either died, or he’s back at the fort.”

“We already looked there” River questioned, cocking his head to one side.

Ares stopped, realization dawning across his features as the Mojave sun set before them.

“Actually….”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You have got to be kidding me”

One tent. Exactly one tent. Ten yards. A hop skip and a jump away. One blasted tent over from the one they so rudely woke up in. And here he was.

Arcade snored softly as they entered, River instantly covering their own mouth to silence what was most likely a chuckle from the absurdity of it all. There, lying on the floor, was one missing doctor. The clothes he’d been wearing the night before were mostly still intact, his pants and shirt rumbled but thankfully present. Wherever his jacket went, Ares couldn’t be sure. Not that losing clothing was an uncommon occurrence after nights like the night before. No it was his new bed, er, floormate was that warranted their shock and awe. There, held tightly in the arms Ares had originally planned to end up in, was the biggest damn jalapeno plant he had ever seen, its leaves draped tenderly over Arcade’s chest in the loveliest of embraces. Smug bastard.

Mira peered up at him innocently, pointing towards her adopted father she had just led them to. “Well, I did say he was in the area. I found him after you left, honest” she smiled, crossing her finger over her heart. The marker smudges on the back of her hand corroborated her story, matching perfectly with the nearly dry ink forming a second pair of spectacles on Arcade’s face and a rather bushy mustache Ares was certain he couldn’t actually grow. River snorted beside him, face going a delightful shade of tomato as he did.

Ares swallowed a laugh, barely managing as Arcade shifted at the sound, wrapping himself tighter around the plant and murmuring sweet nothings into its figurative ear.

“Do we..” River started, shoulders shaking with poorly contained laughter “Do we wake him?”

“Yes” Ares nodded, placing his hands on his hips as he tried not to double over. “After we find a camera”  
Fin


End file.
